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  • Writer's pictureStephanie Rauch, Ph. D.

Can You Take a Compliment?

Updated: Jun 12, 2020

In other words, "Do you let others in?"

When someone tells you that you look attractive or did something good, do you actually receive their intended gift? Receiving the compliment is twofold: 1) politely say thank you and, 2) Actually let the compliment in. If you receive the compliment, you are you touched by their remark. You are affected and perhaps temporarily altered.The compliment might even put a little pep in your step.

But, if you immediately deflect with “thank you,”“laugh it off," or even worse, remark with “I know," you remain untouched and unknowingly keep yourself alone.

If taking a compliment is not easy for you, don't worry, you aren't alone. It takes skill to let others into your inner world and be touched by another. "Letting other's in" by it's very nature means you have to let your guard down and become vulnerable.

You can't be in survival mode and receive other people, other information, or another person's sentiments.

If your guard goes up to protect you, nothing can get in or out, including the good a compliment.

If you let a compliment affect you, you are touched and feel differently from the other person. That person matters to you and your are connected, not alone. Your world gets enlarged because they take up real estate in your mind and heart.

Receiving a compliment is actually a generous act because you gift the other person with mattering to you, thereby making their life meaningful.

If you shun the compliment off somehow, even socially correctly…. and they stay over there. You then remain in your untouched world. You are alone and they, too are alone….even if this is an old habit.

Are you now wondering if you let others in? I hope so because asking yourself the question is the crucial first step to gain the desire to change. I hope I have given you something to think about. If you have questions, comments or just want to drop me a line, please do so by sending an email to

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