• Stephanie Rauch, Ph. D.

Growing A Healthy Sense of Self

Updated: Apr 21

Today we are going to focus on how to stop criticizing yourself.

Do you ever criticize or put yourself down? This habit is destructive to your healthy sense of identity.


The first step to change is to become aware. I suggest you use a whole day (or more) to become aware of how you habitually criticize yourself.


Typical critical criticism are:

(You’re) not good enough

(You) didn’t do that right

(You) are bad or wrong

(You) shouldn’t….


I hope these prompters spark curiosity at the specific way you tend to put your sweet Self down.


I suggest using a whole day to become aware your personal criticisms. Once you are aware of the culprits you can begin the work of changing this habit.

Working with criticism:

  1. Pause and ask yourself if this cruel statement is objectively true.

  2. Ask the part of you that criticized yourself, for what possible positive reason did you do that?

I bet that you will be surprised at the response you get.


As you begin to pay attention to this habit, you actually create a boundary for your True self,

at the point of criticism, where you normally “just take it.” You don’t have to take criticism laying down. By becoming aware you develop the voice for your True Self.


Once you have a voice by questioning the abuser, you start to get your Self back.

This crucial pause, when you question the critical voice, is supportive.

And, when you have support, you can change. Once you develop the skills to stop criticizing yourself, you won't let anyone else do that to you either!

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